Adada Muhammadu Needs Some List Advice

I feel really sorry for Mr. Adada Muhammadu. A business owner himself, he’s apparently suffering a great deal of tragedy in his home country of Nigeria and is looking for someone to safeguard $30 million that he holds in his bank account.

Apparently, he recently inherited this amount from a wealthy relative and needs to get it out of his country as soon as possible. Naturally he e-mailed me and asked if I could help for a 10 percent fee. I’m thinking it over. It’s a tough call.

I’m a busy guy with lots to do. I just don’t have the time to e-mail him my bank account information and Social Security number, let alone travel to Nigeria, as he asks, to finalize arrangements. I’m supposed to take my daughter to a swim meet next week and I promised my wife I’d clean out the garage. Otherwise I’d be good to go.

I’m just not a good candidate for him at this time. I wish he hadn’t wasted his efforts on me. I guess my name came up on the list he purchased of smart, handsome men with hot wives. I feel bad that he’s throwing his money away on a list that he bought that is not working out. So next time, Mr. Muhammadu if you buy another list, I have some penny-pinching advice for you that I learned from other business owners who use lists effectively.

For starters, I know a lot of good database companies that sell marketing lists. In fact, if you’d like some names, just e-mail me and I’ll be glad to share a few with you. Don’t worry Mr. Muhammadu. I don’t agree with those few critics who theorize that the information these companies have is “throw-away” and “out of date.” This may be true in some cases. But in all seriousness, I do know that there are many good database companies that invest in quality research and put a lot of emphasis on the integrity of the data they sell.

Even so Mr. Muhammadu. You’re going to need to be very careful when you buy your next list. Your e-mail reached me, but even with the best database companies around, my experience is that at least 50 percent of the names and contact info on a typical list is bad. A list can cost about $1 per name so if you’re going to drop $5,000-$10,000 (and many database companies have a minimum purchase in that range) you can expect thousands of e-mails to come bouncing back or returned letters. The cost of this could significantly bite into the $30 million you’re trying to transfer.

Here’s one thing you may want to consider Mr. Muhammadu: The U.S. Postal Service offers something called the National Deliverability Index. An NDF score indicates how accurately the address records in a mailing list match the latest address data maintained by the Postal Service. Mailing lists are matched using automated address verification programs. A good database company, if asked, will disclose this index to you. It’s a way that the Postal Service can help you and all of your friends in Nigeria.

If you need to purchase another list of Americans who are willing to give up their private financial information in order to help you with your $30 million transfer first try the World Wrestling Federation – they may have plenty of good prospects for you. But be sure to get a sample first. Many lists companies will do that for you. They’ll send you 10 or 15 names for you to validate. Then when you ultimately get your list make sure it’s in a format where you can easily import it into a database or program. Ask for the list to be sent to you that is compatible with Microsoft Excel. Or in text format that can be imported. Once imported, you’ve got to make sure you’re doing the right follow-ups, too.

Because that’s one thing I noticed you didn’t do very well, Mr. Muhammadu. Your follow-up was pretty lame. I mean, I just got one lousy e-mail from you. I realize I’m a little too busy right now, but a couple more e-mails or even a letter (especially when you write them so endearingly in all caps with those catchy misspellings) might have further enticed me to pay more attention to your plight.

I’m not so crazy about the e-mail thing either Mr. Muhammadu. Many database companies lack good e-mail information. And I’m not sure how many people opted in to receive your e-mail, even as enticing as it seems to be. The last thing you want is someone reporting you to the Nigerian Federal Trade Commission or putting you on some kind of blacklist.

How then would you ever transfer your $30 million out of the country? Think, Mr. Muhammadu. Think! Maybe in future you can use this data for regular direct mailing and telemarketing in addition to some e-mailing.

Here’s an even better option: Instead of buying your list from a database company or from the WWF, you might want to either buy or rent from a magazine or trade publication. They’re a little more expensive and some of them are only for limited use. However, I’ve had great success when I buy or rent lists from industry publications because their list of subscribers is updated. In future you may want to try respected trade periodicals like “Architects With No Brains Digest” or the popular “Morons Weekly.” Here you may find a very targeted population of American subscribers who, I bet, would be very interested in your plight.

I’ve met some penny pinchers who avoid buying lists altogether. They find that after spending the five or 10 grand, and throwing out 50 percent of the data, they’re spending even more time cleaning up what’s left.

I talked to one such penny pincher, a friend of mine in Kenya, who said that when he sends e-mails to Americans asking to transfer over his millions of dollars he pays high school students an hourly wage to dig up names from the Net.

“Sure, my list of dumb Americans is smaller than if we would purchase a list,” he said. “But my high school students are quite good at finding fools and idiots from your country from online sites. And at the hourly wage I pay them I get much better data for the investment.”

He and I always poke fun at each other – I like to make fun of his country’s soccer team. He makes jokes about my country’s entire adult population. Oh, we just laugh and laugh.

But enough kidding around. Mr. Muhammadu I realize you are trying to transfer a serious amount of money out of your country before you lose it. You need our help. If anyone can help, please contact him and have your banking and personal credit information available so he can get this done quickly. Let someone come forward and live up to the reputation we Americans have around Nigeria, Kenya and the rest of the world.